The Invisible Load We Bear

Hi, I’m Michaela. I’m a retired occupational therapist, and I’ve been a medical parent for over 25 years. Today, I want to talk about something few people see - but all of us feel: the enormous pressure we place on ourselves as caregivers.

We want to be excellent parents. We want to be loving, attentive caregivers to our children with medical complexities. We also want to eat healthy, drink enough water, get some exercise -because we know people depend on us. We try to keep the house clean, tackle home projects, maybe even start a business or rediscover an old hobby. The list goes on and on.

The Illusion of Time

There are days when it looks like we might finally have a bit of breathing room. For me, that was Father’s Day. My husband took the older kids out, and I stayed home with just my daughter who has medical needs. I thought, “Wow, maybe I’ll get something done today.”

And then, as often happens, I didn’t.

Instead of using that time to check off a to-do list, I rested. I watched a few videos. I just... stopped. And afterward, I caught myself thinking: “I wasted the day.” But did I?

Rest Is Not a Waste

Here’s the truth I want to share with you, from one medical parent to another: Rest is not a waste. Giving ourselves even a brief pause isn’t failure - it’s survival. It’s essential.

We are people constantly balancing intense caregiving responsibilities with our own emotional and physical needs. But when we pause - even just to breathe - we may feel guilt instead of relief. And that needs to change.

You Don’t Need to Earn Your Worth

You don’t have to “do” anything to justify your value. You already matter. You’re already doing more than most people could imagine. Your worth isn’t measured in tasks completed or how many things you juggle without dropping them. It's okay to just be.

I know we’re all doing our best. Some days our best looks like getting a million things done. Other days, our best is simply keeping everyone safe, fed, and loved.

Both are valid. Both are worthy.

A Note for the Days You Doubt Yourself

If no one has told you lately: You are doing an amazing job. Your rest days, your messy days, your tired and frustrated days - they're all part of your incredible journey. Give yourself grace.

Because you are not just caring for your child. You are carrying a full world on your shoulders - and still showing up with love.