The Moment of Overwhelm

The other day, I had a moment of complete overwhelm. Nothing big was going on—no bigger than any other day. I just felt stressed. I couldn’t tell if my coffee was kicking in or what.
As I tried to pinpoint exactly what was weighing on me in that moment, I remembered an exercise that’s helped me before in times like these. I don’t always think to do it, but when I do, it makes a difference.

The Brain Dump (Yes, That Term)

I sat down and decided to do a “brain dump” (ugh, I hate that phrase—but it is what it is).
When I do a brain dump, I take pen to paper and, with no rhyme or reason, no editing, and no organizing, I write down everything I’m holding in my brain.
All the “need to do’s” and “waiting for action” tasks living rent-free in my head. And that day, there was a lot.

The Power of Getting It All Out

I didn’t try to separate things into categories (even though my brain loves to organize). I didn’t stick to one topic. I just wrote down everything that popped into my head. And even that small act—getting it out— helped relieve some of my stress.

The Hidden Mental Load of Caregiving

Here’s the thing: As parents and caregivers to children with complex medical conditions, we carry a LOT.
We hold all the needs of everyone in our lives inside our own heads. Everything from “refill this medication” to “find a friend for the kid who struggles socially” to “recycle the pile of junk in the garage.”
It’s constant. And the reason writing it all down helps is because the stress isn’t just the tasks themselves. Half of it is simply the hidden mental load of carrying them.

Keeping Track, Bit by Bit

I kept that piece of paper with me all day because I knew there were more things lurking in my mind I hadn’t captured yet.
As new thoughts popped up, I scribbled them down. If I wasn’t near my paper, I’d jot them in the Notes app on my phone and transfer them later.
But honestly, I prefer physically writing things down. There’s something so satisfying about seeing it all in front of me. Acknowledging and validating my own thoughts helps me calm my mind and recenter.

Organizing, Prioritizing, and Delegating

Later, when I have time (sometimes that night, sometimes the next day, sometimes…eventually), I go back and organize my list into categories: home, work, kids (sometimes child by child), my own stuff, etc.
And by the time I sit down to organize it, I’ve usually already crossed a few things off. Small wins.
Then, I do two things: I prioritize and I delegate. I decide what matters most, and I assign tasks to whoever else can take something off my plate.
If my husband can refill a prescription, I just jot down his initials next to it. Boom—one less thing to carry.

The Magic of Lightening the Load

And you know what? Once I’ve dumped everything out, categorized it, delegated what I can, and prioritized the rest—it’s like magic.
It doesn’t even feel like that much anymore. My brain feels lighter. Things get done.

A Tangible Reminder of All You Do

I keep those sheets until every last item is crossed off or becomes irrelevant.
As I was writing this, I realized—I should’ve kept them all. Wouldn’t it be incredible to have a folder filled with proof of all the invisible work we do?
On those days when it feels like we’re “just” caregiving, how validating would it be to flip through and see it all laid out? To have tangible evidence of how much we hold, how much we manage, how well we love?

Try This Brain Dump Exercise Yourself

If this resonates with you, here’s a simple way to put it into practice:

Set Aside a Few Minutes

When you feel overwhelmed, grab a notebook or a scrap of paper and commit to writing down what’s in your head. No structure, no order—just get it out.

Write Everything That Comes to Mind

Big things, small things, random thoughts—it all counts. The goal is to unload the mental clutter.

Keep the List Handy for a Day

Carry it with you, and as more tasks pop up, add them. If you’re away from your paper, use your phone and transfer later.

Organize When You Can

Later that day or the next, group things into categories: home, work, kids, errands, personal, etc.

Prioritize & Delegate

Mark what’s urgent, what can wait, and what can be handed off. If someone else can take a task, put their initials next to it and pass it along.

Cross Things Off & Celebrate Progress

Even if you only get a few things done, it’s progress. The act of seeing things get handled is a relief in itself.

Consider Keeping Your Lists

If you need a reminder of how much you do, save these pages. They’re proof of your unseen labor, your love, and your resilience.

You’ve Got This

Try it and see if it lightens your load. You’re doing better than you think.